We write our stories every day, creating new tales to tell and new experiences to relate. Not every chapter will be exciting or happy but we make choices which determine the path we take and we make decisions which decide the ending to each. Previously, I have discussed the dangers of Facebook and other social networking sites with you, as well as the choices you make to ensure your experience with them is positive. Today I would like to take this further by discussing cyberbullying and the choices you can make to tackle this crime – and it is a crime.
What is cyberbullying?
Cyberbullying is something we’re warned about at school but never really taught about in detail. It is a form of bullying which takes place online, for example through text messaging, social media sites and chat-rooms. Traditionally bullying only existed in the playground; however it is now being carried out in the safest place of many of its victims: their home. As more young people join social media such as Facebook, Twitter, and the newest craze, Snapchat, the problem and the ease with which bullies are able to target young people are growing. Bullies who choose to do so online may tease, humiliate or physically threaten their victims. I feel that it’s important for people in today’s society to understand the growing problem that is cyberbullying and for the young people targeted by these online “trolls” to know that they can get help to put an end to it. So if you think you might be one of the many young people experiencing cyberbullying, keep reading. And even if you aren’t personally a victim of cyberbullying, there’s a 50% chance that one of your friends could be.
You’re not alone
If you are experiencing bullying, you’re not alone. Almost 45,000 children and young people spoke to ChildLine last year about their experience of bullying, with 4,500 talking about being bullied online. ChildLine and many other organisations are set up to help you and I would strongly encourage you to use them. As regular readers already know, I have also been in this position. As someone whose life is centred on the internet, I have experienced both the positives and the negatives of being a teenage girl online. For me it started via the social networking site “ask.fm”. Online bullies targeted me “anonymously” via this popular site and used it as a platform to harass me on a daily basis. I was already a shy person so, at the time, speaking about it to people at home or school seemed impossible. Being targeted by bullies made me feel isolated and alone. However once I had opened up about my problem by visiting the ChildLine website, I was inspired to write my story via my blog. It’s daunting at first but sometimes talking to someone you don’t know, or opening up anonymously, can be easier than telling someone you see on a day-to-day basis. It’s the first step and steadily you will find the confidence to tell a parent, carer, friend or anyone else you trust at home or school just as I did. The most important thing for you to understand at this moment is that you are definitely not on your own; there are other people your age who are currently finding the courage to speak out about their online bullies and there are also many, like me, who have done so and now want to help you stand up to yours.
How to cope
Being cyberbullied can make you feel ashamed or even embarrassed and this makes it hard to talk about being targeted. It’s intimidating and I know it takes a huge amount of courage; however it’s a massive relief once someone else knows what you’re going through. It sounds clichéd but it really will take a big weight from your shoulders once you’ve started to share your story. The following 7 steps provide a strategy you could adopt.
- If you’re being bullied via social media, text messaging, chatrooms or any other medium of technology, keep track of it. Don’t delete messages or emails and try to make a note of when something happens.
- If the bullying is taking place on social networking sites, use the report button and block the bullies if possible.
- Visit the ChildLine website or call them on the number I’ve included below. (The website includes a “1-2-1”chatline when you sign up where help is available from online counsellors). Remember that you’re not alone and although it might be scary, you’re doing the right thing by telling someone.
- After you’ve spoken to someone online or on the phone, try to tell a friend or anyone else you trust.
- If it is too intimidating to tell someone the first time, don’t give up. Keep trying, it will get easier.
- It’s not all about telling people. Think about the cyberbullies from a different perspective. Cyberbullies are often unhappy in themselves and the problem is with them, not you.
- Find ways to spend your time away from the internet. This will help to relieve stress and reduce negative thoughts. For me dancing was a way I could take a break from the internet. You could also try various forms of exercise, spending time with friends, or even just watching TV.
Where can I get the help?
I’ve mentioned some of these already, so here are the links, numbers and all the information you’ll need to make those first, very important steps towards a positive ending to this episode.
ChildLine:
0800 1111
BeatBullying:
beatbullying.org
MindFull:
mindfull.org
Possible side-effects of being cyberbullied
You may not realise it but you may be suffering in other ways as a direct consequence of cyberbullying. Depression and anxiety, increased feelings of sadness and loneliness, changes in sleeping and eating patterns, as well as other health problems can arise as a result of being a victim of bullying (whether it’s online or not). These are all serious outcomes of being targeted but they can also be resolved. It is important you are able to tell someone about this and that it is drawn to the attention of the people who can help you out as soon as possible.
Samaritans (a national charity with volunteers who are there to give emotional support):
08457 90 90 90 (UK)
Mind (a mental health charity which offers advice and information):
The NHS website offers information and advice for both mental and physical health-related side-effects of bullying:
Remember
You can do it. Right at this moment, you might feel like it will be like this forever but it’s going to end. You can keep going and you will be able to get the help you deserve to put all of this behind you. Continue to write your story. This chapter will be over soon and you will be able to share your experience to help someone else defeat their bullies.
Keep fighting and I’ll see you soon!
Aimee
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